My clients often feel as if they have no control over their emotions, they are hijacked in certain circumstances whether that is thinking about a something or someone or in particular environments like talking to the boss. The want to respond differently, be in control of how they feel and behave. I teach them how to do this and it can be very empowering to discover that we can maintain control of our feelings and behaviour regardless of what is going on around us, or what is being said to us.
No-one can make us feel anything. It is our response to situations that create our experience. It is our thoughts creating our reality. The stories we tell ourselves. We are able to change our response and experience (within reason). Not only are we responsible for our experience we are also able to change it, however sometimes I need reminding of this myself. Sometimes someone says something and I take it personally and feel powerless to respond completely lovingly.
A friend and fellow therapist taught me a simple way to remind myself of my ability to change the experience, letting go of my story and respond with love. It is simple to tell myself ‘I am respons-ABLE’. When I tell myself that I am immediately reminded of the fact I am responsible for my experience, no-one can control that and I am able to take control back when I relinquish it.
It came to mind a number of times over the weekend and I could see the huge difference it made to my interactions with people. I was able to be compassionate and loving at times in the past I would have taken things personally and responded less lovingly.
Give it a go. Remind yourself you are respons-ABLE.
