A lot of my coaching clients whether life or business have built previous success in areas of their lives such as their career, relationships and other projects but still struggle with a goal, or the next level or don’t feel truly happy.
Inadvertently their career or business has been built upon striving their way forward. Lots of hard work and energy fuelled by the thought of getting to the next level of success. It can be stressful at times but they think that’s OK as they believe it comes with the territory and work through it believing it’ll be worth it.
Striving forward towards a goal is often fuelled by an ‘outside-in’ approach to life. Our thinking tells us that our happiness and well-being is dependent on circumstances on the outside. Some times coaching can focus too much on goals and not the mindset behind success and wellbeing. There is such as thing as toxic goals such as ‘ I’ll be OK if…’ Or ‘I’ll be OK when…’.
Is very hard to control situations and circumstances on the outside and this can often lead to a very busy mind and lots of overthinking. Thinking trying to control future outcomes which leads to second-guessing future outcomes with lots of ‘what if’ thinking. However, nothing can predict the future not even our thinking.
When we begin to realise our sense of well-being, happiness and fulfilment comes from within and is not dependent on anything on the outside it is then we can begin to let go of this thinking and find peace of mind.
In the workplace this enables us to have an uncluttered mind, to have clarity of mind that brings ideas and solutions and ultimately higher performance with less effort.
The old way of striving may have ‘worked’ but I would argue it is possible to succeed with far less effort and far greater well-being. I would say it is more than that, I would say your striving and thinking even limits your possibilities and levels of success. This is what my coaching clients see more and more of in their lives.
Having goals are great but if subconsciously we think our happiness and wellbeing in some way is dependant on the goal then it becomes need rather than a preference. When it becomes need then the fear of it not happening fuels the stress and cluttered mind.
A coaching client who runs her own business was struggling to navigate through some difficult decisions to find the way forward that would take her business to the next level. She knew she needed to make some big changes in the way the business was run and even some changes at director level. With a new sense of clarity and inner-wellbeing the way forward became so clear she could take the necessary actions with ease as they felt like inspiration rather than striving forward with great effort.
Like a lot of business owners I work with her thinking was preventing her from achieving what she sent self employed for – to create a lifestyle she loves. The business (aka thinking about the business) was beginning to consume her.
What goal are you striving towards that you would love to achieve with greater ease?
What are your ‘fairy godmother’ goals that you don’t want to do anything to make them happen but if they did it would be totally awesome?
Or perhaps your mindset and thinking is preventing you from starting to take action. If you want a conversation to explore whether coaching can help you then contact me. Whether you are in Cornwall of further afield I work with clients all over the world via Skype.
