I love working with clients and watching them learn and grow. I learn so much from my clients as well. I also learn so much from my son.
Our nearly four year old son has always been a climber. Even before he could walk he established that pushing books back on the shelves turned a book case in to a ladder.
A few days ago he woke up in the morning and got out of bed on a mission. He wanted the final piece of his Easter egg which had been placed out of sight and mind, or so we thought, on top of the wardrobe.
With complete focus he emptied out his train track collection from the wooden crate they are housed in, pushed it to the wardrobe, turned it upside down and then stood on it, looking to the heavens, arms stretched. Still a good three feet short. He then emptied out his craft things from their box and placed that on top of the crate. His test showed it was still short. A large full sack was next. Still short. A large lever arch file gave him some valuable inches, however not enough. A book gave him another vital inch, however he was still not there. Another book, another vital inch. He was so close, his finger tips reaching the summit but not the treasure. He looked around for something to give him the remaining inch. A pair of shoes….
I was struck by his mindset. Every item, every inch counted whether large or small. He inched forward (up) little by little, focussed on his target. He had no doubt he would make it, he didn’t debate in his mind whether the item in hand was enough, he just knew he needed to get higher and that was the next step up. He flowed from one item to the next undeterred by the enormity of the task.
The following day I was reading a National Geographic article about climbing in Yosemite National Park, California. In the article I was struck by the free climbers and how much the mind plays in their success. Free climbing is climbing unaided, without equipment or ropes. Just climbing shoes, chalk bag and your own belief and ability. These climbers are risking life climbing 2,130 foot walls of granite. Alex Honnold, a world leading free climber, describes the sense of flow he has climbing, flawlessly performing hundreds of precise athletic movements.
For free climbers doubt is dangerous. He describes an instance a few hundred feet from the top of Half Dome (the vertical face rather than the tourist route!) where the mental fatigue got to him and he snapped out of the zone. He was paralysed. “My foot will never stay on that” Honnold says to himself. “Oh God, I’m screwed.” His thoughts had taken over.
With a quick adjustment of his foot and hand hold Honnold was off again. Within minutes he was at the top. “I rallied because there was nothing else I could do” he explains. “I stepped up and trusted that the terrible foothold and was freed from the little prison where I’d stood silently for five minutes.”
Honnold had experienced choking. Just like many other top athletes and professionals in their field. Malcolm Gladwell in his book Blink describes how in the 1993 Wimbledon final Jana Novotna seemed invincible. In the final set she was 4-1 up and one point away from winning the fifth game five points way from victory.
What happened next stunned everyone. She only won a handful of points from that moment. She seemed like a difference person, looking agitated, playing like a beginner and talking to herself. She had lost her flow. She had choked. Her breaking down on the Duchess of Kent’s shoulder during the trophy presentation is an iconic image.
When we choke we try harder, we concentrate more. We think more to focus our way back to the sense of flow. Instead of trusting her ability, her intrinsic learning system she had encoded through practice, Navotna’s explicit learning system had taken over. She was now using the learning system we use when we learn something new which is why she looked like a beginner again, over concentrating with too much thinking. This explicit learning system can often kick in at times of stress resulting in choking as Honnold experienced on Half Dome.
Are there any areas in your life you are choking? Any areas you need to stop thinking, let go and trust? You can stop the thinking by focussing on your breathing. Nothing else just your breath. Perhaps put your hand on your heart and direct your breathing to and from your heart.
So did my son make it to the summit? He did, however not after asking for help. Help to empty some even bigger boxes to start a new bigger, more stable tower!
There’s another lesson – don’t be afraid to ask for help. We are not alone, we journey together in life. If you want help to create the life you want contact me to explore whether I can help you whether on the phone or at my London clinic.
