Many of my clients at my London hypnotherapy clinic have a voice in their head telling them something. A running commentary.
Do you ever say things to yourself like:
‘You stupid idiot- you should have known that would happen’
‘Oh no, I can’t believe I’ve done it again. I am so useless’
‘I should do more exercise’ or ‘I really should stop smoking’
Why is this voice so powerful and how does it have such a control over us?
Well, we tend to develop such a voice as a child as means of keeping us safe. The worst thing that could happen to you as a child is to be rejected by the particular big people you rely on to care for you, like your parents, teachers, uncles, aunts and even older siblings and friends. This is actually part of a biological survival mechanism. Throughout nature, any animal who is rejected by its caregivers and forced to live outside the safety and comfort of the family or pack is liable to die, either of starvation or by being eaten by predators.
We have kept that primal instinct, to remain part of a tribe for security. Therefore, over time you started paying very careful attention to which behaviors got you love, approval and deeper acceptance into your own personal ‘pack’ or ‘tribe’ and which ones led to anger, rejection and possible banishment.
At the end of the day the voice in your head is just thought and you don’t have to entertain it. Thoughts are an illusion. They create an illusion of reality that isn’t true. It is only when you start entertaining the thoughts to do they hang around and grow and believe them. You can choose to let it go. Thoughts come and go from your mind like clouds in a breeze if you let them. They can also be like London buses, none for a while and then loads turn up at the same time!
I am not sure if you have seen the film ‘A Beautiful Mind’. It is a true story about a brilliant mathematician John Nash who was plagues with mental health problems and eventually diagnosed with schizophrenia. There is a wonderful scene at the end when he realises he no longer needs to even entertain the imaginary world his mind is creating.
What is your voice telling you?
1. Write down the words ‘I should…’ at the top of a sheet of paper.
2. Writing as fast as you can for two minutes, complete the sentence as many times as possible. (If you haven’t got at least
10, keep going until you do!)
3. Read through your list, replacing the words ‘I should’ with ‘I could’ or ‘I choose to’ or ‘I want to’ whichever appeals.
4. Rewrite your list again using these new statements.
If you would like help letting go of your negative thinking or help achieving the things in your list of the things you choose to do contact me to arrange a free initial assessment on the phone or at my London or Cornwall practice to explore whether hypnotherapy can help you.
