I work with a lot of couples at my London hypnotherapy clinic. One of the areas I specialise in is infertility which can cause a huge strain on any relationship.
Dr Robert Epstein, author and lecturer at the University of California has been studying love scientifically and his students have been having fun testing the exercises he has developed. They are proven to increase the level of intimacy in a relationship whether friend, family or lover. About 1/2 the marriages in the US fail, as do 2/3 of second marriages and 3/4 third marriages. He believe we fail part because we enter a relationship with poor skills for maintaining them and highly unrealistic expectations.
“Love is like a camp fire, it may be sparked quickly and at first kindling throws out a lot of heat, but it burns quickly. For long lasting steady warmth (with delightful bursts of intense heat from time to time) you must carefully tend the fire.” Molleen Matsumura.
Below are the 8 fun exercises that Dr Epstein developed.
1. Two as One. Embracing each other gently, begin to sense your partner’s breathing and gradually try to synchronize your breathing with his or hers. After a few minutes, you might feel that the two of you have merged.
2. Soul Gazing. Standing or sitting about two feet away from each other, look deeply into each other’s eyes, trying to look into the very core of your beings. Do this for about two minutes and then talk about what you saw.
3. Monkey Love. Standing or sitting fairly near each other, start moving your hands, arms and legs any way you like—but in a fashion that perfectly imitates your partner. This is fun but also challenging. You will both feel as if you are moving voluntarily, but your actions are also linked to those of your partner.
4. Falling in Love. This is a trust exercise, one of many that increase mutual feelings of vulnerability. From a standing position, simply let yourself fall backward into the arms of your partner. Then trade places. Repeat several times and then talk about your feelings. Strangers who do this exercise sometimes feel connected to each other for years.
5. Secret Swap. Write down a deep secret and have your partner do the same. Then trade papers and talk about what you read. You can continue this process until you have run out of secrets. Better yet, save some of your secrets
for another day.
6. Mind-Reading Game. Write down a thought that you want to convey to your partner. Then spend a few minutes wordlessly trying to broadcast that thought to him or her, as he or she tries to guess what it is. If he or she cannot guess, reveal what you were thinking. Then switch roles.
7. Let Me Inside. Stand about four feet away from each other and focus on each other. Every 10 seconds or so move a bit closer until, after several shifts, you are well inside each other’s personal space (the boundary is about 18 inches). Get as close as you can without touching. (My students tell me this exercise often ends with kissing.)
8 Love Aura. Place the palm of your hand as close as possible to your partner’s palm without actually touching. Do this for several minutes, during which you will feel not only heat but also, sometimes, eerie kinds of sparks.
Sometimes a relationship can benefit form some help…perhaps you feel a bit stuck in it and that the fire is going out. We are all unique and I can help you understand yourself and your partner in a new and deeper way, enabling you to tend the relationship in the most effective way. You may want to contact me for a chat to see how I can help you.
Have fun with the exercises!
